Skip to main content

How Can I Help?

The number one question I get asked (Okay, maybe it's the number two question) is, "how can I help?" For a variety of reasons, that is the hardest question for me to answer on the spot. One of those reasons, is because I hate asking for help and accepting help. Another reason is because I am generally so overwhelmed with other thoughts and schedules and all other life things roaming around in my head that I don't have the capacity to think about how you can help on the spot. So here is a list of things that I have thought of that could be helpful. And really many of these things can be helpful for any mom with young kiddos.

1. Meals. If you have time in you schedule and room in your budget to bring a meal of two that would be incredibly helpful. After a busy day of appointments cooking is the last thing on my mind. I am generally too exhausted to cook let alone think of the food we have in the house.

2. Prayer. Please don't pray that our child will get better. Pray that we can remain sane as we navigate this road. Pray that finances line up. Pray that we can make the best choices for our son even when sometimes that feels impossible.

3. Offer to babysit. We understand Bren comes with a little extra challenges but we are more than willing to teach if you are willing to learn. Date nights or days are hard to come by but boy are they needed.

4. Man dates and girl dates. It is really easy for us to get wrapped up in all things Bren related and not take time to be with our friends without our child present. Drew needs time with other men and I need time with other women. We also need time with other couples. There will be times we cannot do things because of Bren things but please know that it's not because we don't want to do things. We really do.

5. Space. That's a really broad statement. Sometimes we need space by ourselves. Sometimes we need space to vent. Sometimes we need space to cry. Sometimes we need space to not be Bren's parents but to be Drew and Sam. Sometimes we need to talk about Bren and what's going on and sometimes we don't want to talk about it all. If we don't answer your questions, we are not trying to be rude, we just need space.

I could probably go on and on with things that would be helpful. But this is a great place to start. In the first year of this journey, I have found these things to be the most important but also the hardest things to come by.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

What We Wish You Knew

 Parenting a child with special needs is one of the hardest yet most joyful things I have done. I have loved watching my child overcome milestones and obstacles. It brings me so much joy to watch my child be so proud of himself. The constant need for therapies, the "extras" that have to go with us wherever we go, the uncertainty of what the future holds, and all the times we have heard "we will just have to wait and see"  are some of the hardest parts of this journey.  I asked some of my fellow superhero parents what they wish the world knew about raising a child with special needs and this is what they said:  1. You likely do not realize all the extra things that happen in our day that take up time . There are extra feeding times, equipment to haul around, catheters to change, therapies to do, diapers to change well past the "normal" diaper age, extra dishes, extra food to make, and phone calls and emails to specialists. These are just some of the extra t...

A Letter To My Kiddo With Disabilities

Hey Kiddo,  When your dad and I first found out you were going to be part of our family; I couldn’t stop myself from dreaming and having goals for you. I was excited to watch you play soccer and be in the band. I was excited for you to love reading just as much as me. I even thought about what your long term future would hold and if you would get married and have your own kids.  The day of your birth was one of the happiest but also the scariest day of my life. We almost lost you. But thanks to an awesome, loving, gracious God and your amazing doctor, you were able to stay here on Earth with us. You survived our nightmare. You were not given very good outcomes in the NICU but that has never stopped you from progressing and flying past the expectations they put on you.  My dreams for you changed, that day in the NICU when they told us you have HIE and likely will develop CP and a list of other diagnoses and to never expect you to lead a “normal” life. Instead of dr...

NICU

The NICU. This is one post I wish I didn't have to write. And I suppose I do not really have to, but it is such an important piece to this story, that it felt wrong to leave it out. We spent 19 days in the NICU. 19 days. Those were the longest 19 days of my life. We arrived there just hours after Bren was born. He was started on a cooling treatment. This treatment cooled Bren's body down but the true intent was to stop any secondary brain damage from happening. Cooling treatment lasts for 72 hours. Bren was scheduled to end this treatment and start warming on Saturday morning. Bren had a rough time warming up and did not actually complete the treatment until Sunday afternoon. 4.5 days. That's how long the treatment took. That's how long it took for me to be able to hold my baby boy. You see, I wasn't allowed to hold him when he was cooling because holding him would allow his body to warm up too much. That was hard. Really hard. I couldn't hold and comfort my b...