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How Can I Help?

The number one question I get asked (Okay, maybe it's the number two question) is, "how can I help?" For a variety of reasons, that is the hardest question for me to answer on the spot. One of those reasons, is because I hate asking for help and accepting help. Another reason is because I am generally so overwhelmed with other thoughts and schedules and all other life things roaming around in my head that I don't have the capacity to think about how you can help on the spot. So here is a list of things that I have thought of that could be helpful. And really many of these things can be helpful for any mom with young kiddos.

1. Meals. If you have time in you schedule and room in your budget to bring a meal of two that would be incredibly helpful. After a busy day of appointments cooking is the last thing on my mind. I am generally too exhausted to cook let alone think of the food we have in the house.

2. Prayer. Please don't pray that our child will get better. Pray that we can remain sane as we navigate this road. Pray that finances line up. Pray that we can make the best choices for our son even when sometimes that feels impossible.

3. Offer to babysit. We understand Bren comes with a little extra challenges but we are more than willing to teach if you are willing to learn. Date nights or days are hard to come by but boy are they needed.

4. Man dates and girl dates. It is really easy for us to get wrapped up in all things Bren related and not take time to be with our friends without our child present. Drew needs time with other men and I need time with other women. We also need time with other couples. There will be times we cannot do things because of Bren things but please know that it's not because we don't want to do things. We really do.

5. Space. That's a really broad statement. Sometimes we need space by ourselves. Sometimes we need space to vent. Sometimes we need space to cry. Sometimes we need space to not be Bren's parents but to be Drew and Sam. Sometimes we need to talk about Bren and what's going on and sometimes we don't want to talk about it all. If we don't answer your questions, we are not trying to be rude, we just need space.

I could probably go on and on with things that would be helpful. But this is a great place to start. In the first year of this journey, I have found these things to be the most important but also the hardest things to come by.

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