The other day a friend had asked me if I had ever listened to the Risen Motherhood Podcast. She informed me that she thought I would really enjoy the latest episode. The next day I took B to a therapy session and a women in the waiting room asked "What's wrong with him?" and after I explained some things she said "Well, will he ever walk?" and although I am use to those question they still sting on some level whenever someone asks them.
Today I got a chance to listen to that podcast episode. It talked about loving the friend who has a child with special needs. It talked about welcoming that family into the church. It talked about how sometimes neurotypical children make comments and as parents(on both sides of those comments), we freeze or don't know what to say.
Some of my favorite takeaways from this episode are:
1. They took a survey of their Instagram followers and 31% of their followers that have children with special needs do not feel supported by their church. Truth. I heard this and teared up a bit because it's so true. Sometimes, it takes so much energy to just get to church and walk through the doors. We walk into church on a Sunday morning and people are so excited to see B and whatever contraption he is in that day. They make comments and try to be encouraging to B but it's often more distracting than helpful. I by no means expect the church to fix things for us. Don't get me wrong, there are some wonderful people in our church that we love a lot, we just wish we felt more welcomed.
2. These moms talked about how one of the most helpful things has been when people ask what would work best for their kiddo. For 2 years I have made sure we have gone to everything our friends have because I didn't want B to miss out on experiences, I didn't want to draw attention to his "extra" needs, and I didn't want people to feel bad for us. But now, it's getting too hard. B is starting to notice that he cannot always play with the other kiddos. I cannot carry him around him anymore. And so we just don't go and it's easy to feel left out.
3. Another helpful thing these moms talked about is how they are people too. I think it's super easy to ask about B and what he is doing and any new diagnosis(because there are a lot). Sometimes I don't want to talk about B. I am a person just as much as the next person. I have joy, problems, concerns, worries outside of B. I know often times parents say they do not feel like they exist much once they have children, times that by 10 when you have a child with special needs.
4. The future for our kiddos can be scary. That's so true. The world was not made for individuals with special needs and sometimes the adaptations don't fit in either. I worry everyday that Bren will grow up and not be understood. I worry he won't leave our house. I worry he won't have friends. I worry he will never have a job. I worry he won't get to experience the joy of having children of his own someday.
I would love to talk about any of these points further. Or listen to the podcast and talk to me about anything else you learned!
Podcast: The Risen Motherhood Podcast :"How Can I Help? Loving a Friend Who Has Child With Special Needs"
Today I got a chance to listen to that podcast episode. It talked about loving the friend who has a child with special needs. It talked about welcoming that family into the church. It talked about how sometimes neurotypical children make comments and as parents(on both sides of those comments), we freeze or don't know what to say.
Some of my favorite takeaways from this episode are:
1. They took a survey of their Instagram followers and 31% of their followers that have children with special needs do not feel supported by their church. Truth. I heard this and teared up a bit because it's so true. Sometimes, it takes so much energy to just get to church and walk through the doors. We walk into church on a Sunday morning and people are so excited to see B and whatever contraption he is in that day. They make comments and try to be encouraging to B but it's often more distracting than helpful. I by no means expect the church to fix things for us. Don't get me wrong, there are some wonderful people in our church that we love a lot, we just wish we felt more welcomed.
2. These moms talked about how one of the most helpful things has been when people ask what would work best for their kiddo. For 2 years I have made sure we have gone to everything our friends have because I didn't want B to miss out on experiences, I didn't want to draw attention to his "extra" needs, and I didn't want people to feel bad for us. But now, it's getting too hard. B is starting to notice that he cannot always play with the other kiddos. I cannot carry him around him anymore. And so we just don't go and it's easy to feel left out.
3. Another helpful thing these moms talked about is how they are people too. I think it's super easy to ask about B and what he is doing and any new diagnosis(because there are a lot). Sometimes I don't want to talk about B. I am a person just as much as the next person. I have joy, problems, concerns, worries outside of B. I know often times parents say they do not feel like they exist much once they have children, times that by 10 when you have a child with special needs.
4. The future for our kiddos can be scary. That's so true. The world was not made for individuals with special needs and sometimes the adaptations don't fit in either. I worry everyday that Bren will grow up and not be understood. I worry he won't leave our house. I worry he won't have friends. I worry he will never have a job. I worry he won't get to experience the joy of having children of his own someday.
I would love to talk about any of these points further. Or listen to the podcast and talk to me about anything else you learned!
Podcast: The Risen Motherhood Podcast :"How Can I Help? Loving a Friend Who Has Child With Special Needs"
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