When I chat with most of my friends they tell me they would love to be able to stay home with their kiddos full time instead of working. I have always been the exact opposite. I never wanted to be a stay at home mom; I was kind of forced into it.
When I got pregnant with my first child the plan was for me to go back to work. I was going to take the twelve weeks and stay home then head back to work. Daycare was lined up and we were ready to go. Then when my son was born and there were complications, work no longer became an option for me. Someone needed to work with my kiddo at home, sign up for all the programs, take my son to all of the doctor appointments and therapies. Since I was a social worker and I knew the system, it was the most logical for me to stay home instead of my husband.
I was angry. I was angry that I was forced into a decision I had been adamantly against for so long. I was angry that I did not get to continue my career path or finish grad school. I was determined that I was going to make a difference in the world. And I would, just not the way I thought.
Throughout the next two and half years my husband and my child’s therapists would tell me that all of the work I was putting in with my kiddo was the reason he was doing so well. I had a hard time believing them and tried two other jobs that I could bring my son to work with me. Those two jobs were amazing and so understanding of my child and his needs. Through hospital stays and endless appointments they stuck with me. In the end, it was me(with a lot of help from God) that realized it was not working and I could not give everything I needed to for the job and for my son.
Lately, I’ve slowly opened up my eyes to what God has for me in this season. I’ve seen the joy of getting to be home with my son and daughter each day. I’ve started to believe my husband, my son’s therapists and his specialists when they tell me that he would not be progressing as much if he were in day care. God has shown me that I am making a huge difference in my children’s world and that is better than I ever could do elsewhere.
Each morning I grab my Badger Brothers coffee and see what the day holds. Some days are hard, some days are busy, some days are slow. No matter what day holds, I choose to see the joy; the joy that comes with watching my children grow and learn new things. I’ll be honest, seeing the joy is not always easy but finding it, especially on the hard days, is so incredibly worth it.
So mama, wherever you find yourself in this season, find the joy. If it’s somewhere you never thought you would be, I hear ya. If it’s where you always wanted to be, I am so happy for you. Keep shining your light for your kiddos. Keep showing them how determined you are to give them the best possible life. Things are not always easy but mama, you’ve got this.
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